Announcement and rants

October 21, 2010 | Category: Uncategorized

I have some new products lined up and ready to go over the next couple of weeks. I may not be able to post them here on the blog, so I encourage you to check out the store each Wednesday, as well as my Facebook page (see link on right side of this page). My CT is wonderful and a couple of them are helping me out to keep you informed over there on FB.

I will be taking another sabbatical from designing. My grandfather has had quite a rough year and has been battling cancer. This is not his first or even second battle in the past 6 years. This is the third. We’ve all been on an emotional roller coaster. He had a total laryngectomy this summer and was on the road to recovery. Just as we were starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, he had to be rushed back to the hospital a few weeks ago. His airway was practically closed up and he had emergency surgery. I made it there just in time to hear the doctor’s news. There was what appeared to be another tumor growing. The past few weeks have been spent trying to find some way of diagnosing and treating him, but last week brought the news that there was nothing more they can do. This time it is terminal.

It’s a very aggressive cancer, more so than I think the doctors even realized. We were told as recent as Monday that we were looking at a matter of a few months to a year left with him. Yesterday it all changed. He had been readmitted to the ICU due to shallow breathing and bleeding. The doctor is now saying it is a matter of days left due to how quickly the tumor is growing and how more keep popping up.

I’m extremely close to my grandfather. Not only is he my last living grandparent, he’s the only grandfather I ever had. I was blessed enough to have grown up near enough that we were able to visit every week. Over this past year and a half, I was at his place up to three times a week helping to cook and clean for him. There is very little I wouldn’t do for my Gramps. My children are handling the news pretty well right now. I, however, am not doing as well. I have been there almost every step of the way, and this is just breaking my heart.

I think the worst part is how extremely unpeaceful this is. I was there every single day for weeks before both of my grandmothers passed. We had time to say what needed to be said to each other. The last days were difficult, but there was a sense of peace. Hospice said Gramps’ situation is one of the most difficult cases to deal with. He will have to be sedated the final days. I was there yesterday to see just a glimpse of how things will be from here on out, and it is not going to be easy to watch.

Unfortunately, family will be family. Some are supportive of one another and are trying to make the most of their time with him while he is here. Many who live out of the area are doing the best they can to come and say their goodbyes. A few others are being their typical selfish selves and making trouble rather than realizing that this is nothing to do with them. They are the ones that will have to live with the guilt that they didn’t bother to say goodbye and make the memories when they had the chance. I pity them, I truly do, especially those that were given the opportunities and didn’t take them.

As for the designing, I will be back as soon as I can. I am going to be spending as much time as possible with my grandfather. He will be sedated in the final day or two, so I want to make as much of the time we have with him. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. Be sure to hug those you love a little bit tighter today.

Much love!

One Comments

  1. Monica
    on October 23rd, 2010
    1

    Melissa-
    I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I also had a similar bond with my maternal grandparents and lost my grandfather 5 years ago to cancer and my grandmother this past June. Make those final memories while you can. Every moment you spend with your grandfather will mean the world to him as well.
    As for the thorns…. stay strong. They will have to live with their regrets.
    {{{Hugs}}} to you and your family!
    Monica

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